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Episode Three: Last week, we nearly had a murder in the office when Mood Dude got ready for the kill, only to be thwarted by MoJo's secret weapons. We also had the girls in the office blanking out for no reason...something that's still going on, by the way, and only they know what's going on, and they don't want to tell. Humph! Khelbo Na! Anyway, when the scene opens this week, we see The Girl Next Door eagerly waiting for Wicked Sinner, who's been missing for a while now. Mood Dude seems to be in a good mood again, and we have a fuller crew for once, with Riyana, the Solitary Sniper, and the Unforgivable Singer being back after a brief absence. (Enter Da Big Boss) DBB: Kids! Into the conference room...now. You people remember her signature Darth Vader voice, I hope? Well, in three seconds flat, the little cubicle is empty as everyone makes a mad dash for the conference room. DBB: "Long time since we had such a meeting...let's get to the point. What is wrong with you lazy layabouts? I don't pay you to download stuff from the Internet and post it under your by-lines. (All eyes turn towards The Girl Next Door) TGND: "Hey, why are you looking at me?" Solitary Sniper: "Here's a hint: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V..." TGND: "Here's one for you: Ctrl+knuckle-sandwich" Riyana: "Now, now...let's not get violent here..." TGND, SS: "It's not your problem" DBB: "Children! Be quiet! Next issue...we have too many reader columns here...The Connection has Got to Go!" TGND: "Noooooooooooo!" This is followed by an Ally Mcbeal like moment inside her head, where you can see dozens of taka notes flying out of her pocket. DBB: "Third issue...I want some more field assignments and cover stories out of you people. Any volunteers?" A deathly silence prevails...gradually, you can hear that "Mawth" song from the movie Kaante starting to play in the background, and everyone looks at everyone else. DBB: "Thought as much. I'll have to start delegating assignments then." She stops and smiles and everyone breaks out into sweat. "Mood Dude and Unforgivable Singer, I've got the perfect job for the two of you." She then proceeds to outline the project, the nature of which I'm not permitted to disclose, since the threat of a very painful death hangs over my head, but feel free to use your imagination here. When she finishes discussing the assignment, her two victims look like lunch is the farthest thing from their minds. DBB: "Finally...I need some more ideas for both RS and LS...and if you don't come up with a few...well, let's just say you don't want to know what I'll do otherwise." Let's step out of the conference room for a moment, outside those frosted glass doors. Everything has been nice and quiet for the past twenty minutes. Someone comes in with a stack of papers. The people of the Star City Section in the next cubicle are seated quietly at their computers. Say this was the situation right before DBB said those cataclysmic words. Suddenly something explodes inside the conference room. The building shakes. The lights flicker. Papers go flying everywhere. The Star City people jump in their seats. What's going on in there? All right, I'll tell you. Desperate to preserve their jobs, their lives, or whatever is at stake, all the RS members start booming ideas at the top of their lungs. Sheesh! What did you expect? This is a newspaper office, not a munitions factory. DBB (slapping the table) "Okay, okay...meeting adjourned...you can leave now. If anyone sees the Boycott Babe, just let me know, okay?"
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